I’d heard a lot about Phi Phi before stepping off the boat, but it wasn’t until the bass caused the beds to vibrate and move that I realised just how wild it can be. While they've undoubtedly been moulded by backpackers into a spectacle of sex and drunken Thai boxing, these Andaman Sea isles do still have raw natural beauty.
Though it may seem isolated getting to the Phi Phi islands is incredibly easy, with regular, cheap ferries from both Phuket and Krabi. Our 90 minute boat journey from Phuket was pleasant and smooth for the most part, though some of the more hungover passengers wouldn’t agree.
As we approached Phi Phi Don, the largest and most popular island, my first thoughts were of paradise; with beaches, turquoise waters and limestone cliffs unlike anywhere I’d been before. But it’s clear the masses of boats and the people they dump on the island are taking a toll on nature, with a 20 baht (48p) ‘restoration’ fee upon arrival.
Though it may seem isolated getting to the Phi Phi islands is incredibly easy, with regular, cheap ferries from both Phuket and Krabi. Our 90 minute boat journey from Phuket was pleasant and smooth for the most part, though some of the more hungover passengers wouldn’t agree.
As we approached Phi Phi Don, the largest and most popular island, my first thoughts were of paradise; with beaches, turquoise waters and limestone cliffs unlike anywhere I’d been before. But it’s clear the masses of boats and the people they dump on the island are taking a toll on nature, with a 20 baht (48p) ‘restoration’ fee upon arrival.
The island itself is relatively tiny, with a welcome lack of vehicles yet hordes of tourists. You can reach almost anywhere by walking along the narrow streets, which are abundant with pizza slice stands, cocktail bucket vendors and Cockneys selling boat party tickets.
We thought we’d struck gold as we checked into Stones Hostel (and bar), located on Loh Dalum Beach and less than a stone’s throw from the sea. We’d soon find out our first floor room was directly above some of the biggest speakers and main dance floor on Phi Phi.
After some wandering around we stumbled upon Banana Bar, which served excellent Mexican food at a very reasonable price – 200 baht (£4.78) for a couple of burritos. This open rooftop bar became a staple for us during our stay, with chilled hip hop music making a nice change from most of the islands tunes and nightly movies to offer respite from the mayhem.
We thought we’d struck gold as we checked into Stones Hostel (and bar), located on Loh Dalum Beach and less than a stone’s throw from the sea. We’d soon find out our first floor room was directly above some of the biggest speakers and main dance floor on Phi Phi.
After some wandering around we stumbled upon Banana Bar, which served excellent Mexican food at a very reasonable price – 200 baht (£4.78) for a couple of burritos. This open rooftop bar became a staple for us during our stay, with chilled hip hop music making a nice change from most of the islands tunes and nightly movies to offer respite from the mayhem.
Later that first evening we checked out Reggae Bar, arguably the most famous venue on Phi Phi; made so by Pritchard versus Dainton, of Dirty Sanchez fame. The bar–turned-Muay Thai arena offers plucky tourists the chance to enter the ring and fight each other, for the reward of a free bucket and a medal.
Two of our group had been talking up an epic battle in the days prior but only one, Todd, followed through. The hosts paraded him around the ring, until a Frenchman took up the gauntlet. They were soon kitted out and underway in the sweltering heat; it was going well but after two of three rounds Todd had enough, so lost by default. Still, credit where credit’s due.
We visited this coliseum several times in the coming days. While the ‘professional’ fights were a facade, packed with impressive choreography and showmanship, the tourist fights were anything but. The atmosphere could get electric, with crowds baying for blood and grudge matches sparking out of nowhere.
Two of our group had been talking up an epic battle in the days prior but only one, Todd, followed through. The hosts paraded him around the ring, until a Frenchman took up the gauntlet. They were soon kitted out and underway in the sweltering heat; it was going well but after two of three rounds Todd had enough, so lost by default. Still, credit where credit’s due.
We visited this coliseum several times in the coming days. While the ‘professional’ fights were a facade, packed with impressive choreography and showmanship, the tourist fights were anything but. The atmosphere could get electric, with crowds baying for blood and grudge matches sparking out of nowhere.
An Irish guy, who wanted more MMA than Thai boxing, goaded his French opponent repeatedly. Tensions flared and a few illegal ground-and-pound attempts had to be stopped by the referee’s intervention. But the nimble Frenchman had the last laugh, landing a brutal kick to the head knockout.
An absolute mismatch saw a short, stocky English lad pitted against a six foot eight Russian goliath. The shorter man won the crowd’s affection after recovering from three knock downs to go the distance, but eventually lost on a decision.
Just outside Reggae Bar you can find a cluster of other half decent establishments, including Relax, Dojo and Breakers bars, Dubliner Irish Pub and Stockholm Syndrome.
Further along the narrow streets you can find Kongsiam Live bar; usually packed to the rafters, with singers who always seemed to be covering Riptide by Vance Joy whenever we walked past.
An absolute mismatch saw a short, stocky English lad pitted against a six foot eight Russian goliath. The shorter man won the crowd’s affection after recovering from three knock downs to go the distance, but eventually lost on a decision.
Just outside Reggae Bar you can find a cluster of other half decent establishments, including Relax, Dojo and Breakers bars, Dubliner Irish Pub and Stockholm Syndrome.
Further along the narrow streets you can find Kongsiam Live bar; usually packed to the rafters, with singers who always seemed to be covering Riptide by Vance Joy whenever we walked past.
Undoubtedly the hub of evening entertainment takes places back on Loh Dalum Beach, with hundreds if not thousands of people partying on the sands every night without fail. Many end up taking to the sea or passing out in the sand - like one friend, who got buried by a group of Scottish girls.
Stones and Slinky bars are the main hubs for festivities, with both hosting epic fire shows. Later on the limbo bar gets brought out for a mass contest, with a free shot upon completing each height. It turns out that despite being gangly, with achy, clicking joints characteristic of an old man, I’m pretty good at it.
Sadly the music was pretty terrible on the whole, consisting mainly of horrendous techno; with one sadistic DJ dropping a laughably bad remix of jingle bells. I was surprised at how insanely popular random hits from years ago, like Gasolina and Waka Waka, were both here and across Thailand. While the music was generally bad, you can’t doubt the vibe and can’t help but get involved.
Stones and Slinky bars are the main hubs for festivities, with both hosting epic fire shows. Later on the limbo bar gets brought out for a mass contest, with a free shot upon completing each height. It turns out that despite being gangly, with achy, clicking joints characteristic of an old man, I’m pretty good at it.
Sadly the music was pretty terrible on the whole, consisting mainly of horrendous techno; with one sadistic DJ dropping a laughably bad remix of jingle bells. I was surprised at how insanely popular random hits from years ago, like Gasolina and Waka Waka, were both here and across Thailand. While the music was generally bad, you can’t doubt the vibe and can’t help but get involved.
As everyone reigns free on the beach, it’s easy to save money through cheap drinks from the corner shop. Occasionally we'd skirmish back into the narrow streets to pick up a 80 baht (£1.93) pizza slice or a cocktail bucket, which is a Phi Phi rite of passage. We managed to sniff out one stall charging 250 baht (£6.07) near the Irish pub, which is 50 baht (£1.21) cheaper than the rest. You don’t need many of those either.
With such raucous partying just feet away from our dorm room, it was literally impossible to get to sleep until 2.30am when the music stopped. Even if we did want to retire early with some headphones in, the vibrating bed would start to move as if to transport us back onto the beach.
With such raucous partying just feet away from our dorm room, it was literally impossible to get to sleep until 2.30am when the music stopped. Even if we did want to retire early with some headphones in, the vibrating bed would start to move as if to transport us back onto the beach.
That didn’t help with rising early for excursions. Although the eighth man in our room had a habit of stumbling in at dawn, waking us to tell a tale or show off his new tattoo.
Morning tours are the main way to visit Maya Bay, made famous by Danny Boyle’s The Beach. The consensus from other travellers was that it was overcrowded and overrated, so I wasn’t too sorry for opting out. Plus the other stops included one with pesky monkeys and another called Mosquito Beach. Those little pests loved me enough without actively going to a place named after them.
I wasn’t keen on a boat party either. Call me dull, but the thought of being stuck in the sea with some of the people I’d seen selling tickets was my idea of hell. We did make it out to sea on a couple of kayaks, which was pleasant for half an hour or so, but being in no shape for intense physical exercise ended that foray.
There’s also a several hundred step march up to a breathtaking viewpoint, but don’t forget water and 40 baht (97p) for the toll guy.
Morning tours are the main way to visit Maya Bay, made famous by Danny Boyle’s The Beach. The consensus from other travellers was that it was overcrowded and overrated, so I wasn’t too sorry for opting out. Plus the other stops included one with pesky monkeys and another called Mosquito Beach. Those little pests loved me enough without actively going to a place named after them.
I wasn’t keen on a boat party either. Call me dull, but the thought of being stuck in the sea with some of the people I’d seen selling tickets was my idea of hell. We did make it out to sea on a couple of kayaks, which was pleasant for half an hour or so, but being in no shape for intense physical exercise ended that foray.
There’s also a several hundred step march up to a breathtaking viewpoint, but don’t forget water and 40 baht (97p) for the toll guy.
I was more than content spending the days just sunbathing, reading a book, clowning around in the sea with a football or watching Jeff the bulldog. Jeff (as we dubbed him) would spend hours each day wrestling with a spade, that was left lying around to build a sand stage for the evening fire shows.
I’d embraced the beach life so much that I’d practically stopped wearing shoes after day two, even if the beach itself did have remnants of debris from the evenings before.
We did revel in one particularly epic full day session, with Ibiza Bar hosting crazy pool parties every Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. The one we attended was booming and loads of fun, but it wouldn’t have hurt to play a few Ibiza classics instead of the familiar EDM. It’s also best if you ignore the line of peacocking ‘bro’ types by the water’s edge.
We did revel in one particularly epic full day session, with Ibiza Bar hosting crazy pool parties every Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. The one we attended was booming and loads of fun, but it wouldn’t have hurt to play a few Ibiza classics instead of the familiar EDM. It’s also best if you ignore the line of peacocking ‘bro’ types by the water’s edge.
After five days on the island we were about ready for our next destination – and a decent night’s sleep.
By all means come to Phi Phi and get your fill of partying and organised fights; but make sure you respect and look after the place too. And choose accommodation away from Loh Dalum Beach if you want to find any pockets of peace and quiet.
By all means come to Phi Phi and get your fill of partying and organised fights; but make sure you respect and look after the place too. And choose accommodation away from Loh Dalum Beach if you want to find any pockets of peace and quiet.