With just a few doors on the advent left, we came to the coastal town of Mui Ne to relax before the Christmas festivities. It’s fit for purpose in many ways, though a local beauty spot doesn’t offer the tranquillity it should - and can leave you wanting to bury your head in the sand.
At just over four hours, the journey from Ho Chi Minh City to Mui Ne is probably one of the better ones in Vietnam; particularly when each seat is a sort of pod-shaped bed. Not that these are especially built for someone as lanky as me, with the driver insistent on squashing any hand luggage (and a carrier bag containing your shoes) inside the pod too.
We chose to play it safe and familiar with accommodation, since two of us highly rated a previous stay at Mui Ne Backpacker Village. All signs (and reviews) pointed to it still being the place to be - but since it was five days before Christmas, some crowds would have moved towards bigger cities. It wasn’t dead, nor was it ‘going off’ in the typical sense.
Fewer guests meant we got a room in a prime location, on the ground floor, next to the shower block and pool. This hostel has separate single beds, which limits privacy but means no racing for bottom bunks - or tackling terrifying ladders to the top ones.
At just over four hours, the journey from Ho Chi Minh City to Mui Ne is probably one of the better ones in Vietnam; particularly when each seat is a sort of pod-shaped bed. Not that these are especially built for someone as lanky as me, with the driver insistent on squashing any hand luggage (and a carrier bag containing your shoes) inside the pod too.
We chose to play it safe and familiar with accommodation, since two of us highly rated a previous stay at Mui Ne Backpacker Village. All signs (and reviews) pointed to it still being the place to be - but since it was five days before Christmas, some crowds would have moved towards bigger cities. It wasn’t dead, nor was it ‘going off’ in the typical sense.
Fewer guests meant we got a room in a prime location, on the ground floor, next to the shower block and pool. This hostel has separate single beds, which limits privacy but means no racing for bottom bunks - or tackling terrifying ladders to the top ones.
Like most resorts in Mui Ne, Backpacker Village lies on the main coastal road with a 10km long beach just opposite. Sadly, most of this beach is controlled by the upper-end resorts across from ours. Sneaking on is easy enough, but security prowl about to keep you off the best patches of sand.
That was one of the reasons we didn’t bother with the beach at all. The other was that our hostel’s pool had plenty of sun loungers available, and 50,000 Dong (£1.60) gin and tonics only a few metres away.
When not reclining or rehydrating, a large chunk of our days were spent playing volleyball. Games could last an hour or so and got pretty competitive; usually led by a group of seven athletic Israelis, on leave after their national service. They were really good, and one girl in particular packed a power-serve. Nothing improves your concentration and all-round game like a few vicious volleyballs to the face.
On an afternoon off from the thrashings, we took a short Grab (Asian Uber) trip to one of the popular local landmarks - a shallow stretch of water called Suoi Tien (fairy stream).
That was one of the reasons we didn’t bother with the beach at all. The other was that our hostel’s pool had plenty of sun loungers available, and 50,000 Dong (£1.60) gin and tonics only a few metres away.
When not reclining or rehydrating, a large chunk of our days were spent playing volleyball. Games could last an hour or so and got pretty competitive; usually led by a group of seven athletic Israelis, on leave after their national service. They were really good, and one girl in particular packed a power-serve. Nothing improves your concentration and all-round game like a few vicious volleyballs to the face.
On an afternoon off from the thrashings, we took a short Grab (Asian Uber) trip to one of the popular local landmarks - a shallow stretch of water called Suoi Tien (fairy stream).
The idea is very pleasant sounding: You take your shoes off and meander through lukewarm, three-inch-deep water; with the option to buy snacks, fruit, ice cream, or even a beer from several pop-up vendors along the way. But it’s also bizarre in many senses of the word.
As we moved upstream, it did seem a lot busier than I previously remembered. A passing man soon dampened any tranquillity further by spitting a chesty lump of phlegm into the water, which was flowing towards my feet. He didn’t seem too fazed by my protests.
A little further along, I was sad to see that animal rights still hadn’t made any progress here either - with signs advertising ‘ostrich riding’.
As we moved upstream, it did seem a lot busier than I previously remembered. A passing man soon dampened any tranquillity further by spitting a chesty lump of phlegm into the water, which was flowing towards my feet. He didn’t seem too fazed by my protests.
A little further along, I was sad to see that animal rights still hadn’t made any progress here either - with signs advertising ‘ostrich riding’.
The small paddock contained three ostriches; two of them were harnessed up with saddle-like contraptions on their backs, while the third lulled in the shade. It looked as though it had a bent neck, perhaps a result of the barbaric and exploitive sideshow they have set up. We collectively felt gutted and outraged.
It would have been fitting to bury our heads in the sand in protest, but we watched on as another group came over to try it out. Birds aren’t built to carry humans of any weight, especially not this girl lining up first. For at least two minutes the handlers fought to get the girl seated, but it was a clear logistical nightmare.
It was hard not to take pleasure when she was almost thrown to the ground, before they abandoned the operation and left the poor ostriches in peace. That would have been a fine dose of karma.
It would have been fitting to bury our heads in the sand in protest, but we watched on as another group came over to try it out. Birds aren’t built to carry humans of any weight, especially not this girl lining up first. For at least two minutes the handlers fought to get the girl seated, but it was a clear logistical nightmare.
It was hard not to take pleasure when she was almost thrown to the ground, before they abandoned the operation and left the poor ostriches in peace. That would have been a fine dose of karma.
Further down is a spectacularly scenic section, with dunes of awesome red, orange, pink and cream sand. It’s the kind of natural beauty which is now inevitably spoiled by Instagram ‘models’ and ‘influencer’ types.
And I don’t mean those taking a quick photo. I mean hordes of people posing for lengthy photoshoots - sitting arduously, flicking their heads and arching to get the perfect shot. They made it tough to fully appreciate the intricate patterns in the sand, which did irritate me.
And I don’t mean those taking a quick photo. I mean hordes of people posing for lengthy photoshoots - sitting arduously, flicking their heads and arching to get the perfect shot. They made it tough to fully appreciate the intricate patterns in the sand, which did irritate me.
I found a calmer route by scrambling up to the top of the dunes, avoiding more of these Insta-pests and getting a nice view of the stream. Then there's a small, yet wholesome waterfall at the end of it – and things are always more relaxing by a waterfall. Contrary to the TLC song, perhaps we should chase them.
There are lots of these little boatman insects loitering about in the water nearby though, so keep back a bit if you’re perturbed by that sort of thing.
There are lots of these little boatman insects loitering about in the water nearby though, so keep back a bit if you’re perturbed by that sort of thing.
On the return downstream we stopped for a drink and ice cream at a makeshift ‘café’ area, with some friendly dogs for company. It’s lucky we chose to stop, as several cattle decided to wander into the fray and add to the general commotion. I hope they ruined plenty of photoshoots.
Despite my complaints and the fiasco, the fairy stream is a picturesque place on the whole. If they could sort out the ostrich abuse and if there’s such thing as a quiet period, and you can go during that, it would be a perfect relaxing excursion.
Despite my complaints and the fiasco, the fairy stream is a picturesque place on the whole. If they could sort out the ostrich abuse and if there’s such thing as a quiet period, and you can go during that, it would be a perfect relaxing excursion.
There are two other Mui Ne attractions worth a mention, firstly being quad biking on some white sand dunes. I’m not sure what the exact cost is, but it’s definitely worth shelling out for the more powerful quads.
The second involves a visit to some red sand dunes, where you’ll get ripped off by local kids for the pleasure of sliding down them on a plastic sheet. We didn’t do either this time, but click here if you want to read more about them.
The second involves a visit to some red sand dunes, where you’ll get ripped off by local kids for the pleasure of sliding down them on a plastic sheet. We didn’t do either this time, but click here if you want to read more about them.
All the excitement sure does work up an appetite – and thankfully there’s an excellent Mexican restaurant (El Latino) and an excellent curry house (Goa Indian) either side of our hostel. They're a little pricier than your average meal over there, but we’re still talking less than £10. In fact, El Latino offers three courses and a drink for around 300,000 Dong (£9.91).
You can easily budget further with authentic Vietnamese meals at the ridiculously cheap street grub vendors scattered about. Plus, the hostel food wasn’t too bad or expensive either.
You can easily budget further with authentic Vietnamese meals at the ridiculously cheap street grub vendors scattered about. Plus, the hostel food wasn’t too bad or expensive either.
Most evenings at the hostel revolve around various organised team games, usually involving drinking challenges or ‘beer Olympics’. Rumours of our beer pong prowess had obviously reached Mui Ne, as our team were cheated out of victory in a strange six team free-for-all version of it (a bit too unorthodox to count in the record though surely).
We made up for it with a dominating pub quiz win the next night, thanks in part to an impromptu embarrassing story round; clinched by a friend’s faecal story, about the risks of drinking too much Guinness on an empty stomach. Our prize: A beer tower, of course.
We made up for it with a dominating pub quiz win the next night, thanks in part to an impromptu embarrassing story round; clinched by a friend’s faecal story, about the risks of drinking too much Guinness on an empty stomach. Our prize: A beer tower, of course.
On the majority of evenings, the shenanigans would eventually lead us down the road to Dragon Beach Bar; which I’m fairly sure is the only thing like a nightclub in the area.
The contingent from the hostel always sorted everyone out with free shots on arrival, with more available during dance-offs or limbo competitions.
Even on the quieter nights, it’s a pretty cool place. The house music they play tends to be a better quality, with a choice of dancefloors, cushioned seats overlooking the beach, and platforms with Russian girls pole-dancing or juggling fire.
The contingent from the hostel always sorted everyone out with free shots on arrival, with more available during dance-offs or limbo competitions.
Even on the quieter nights, it’s a pretty cool place. The house music they play tends to be a better quality, with a choice of dancefloors, cushioned seats overlooking the beach, and platforms with Russian girls pole-dancing or juggling fire.
Just outside the bar is the aptly named Mr Burger, which we visited on one of the stumbles back to the hostel. The alcohol may have played a part, but it was one of the best burgers I’d had in a while - with a decent menu choice in the region of 50,000 to 60,000 Dong (£1.63-£1.95).
We did manage a fairly quiet night just sat playing cards, though that was soured somewhat by following text-only updates of Man City losing 3-2 at home to Crystal Palace. I suppose this is the sort of moment Nick Hornby is referring to in Fever Pitch.
Without time constraints, I could have happily spent another day or two blissfully doing nothing with the good group also staying at Backpacker Village.
But we had our hearts set on spending Christmas in Hoi An, which meant a mammoth 450-mile journey. So we left on the 23rd December, somewhat relaxed and without burying our heads in the sand – though with a sad thought for the poor ostriches.
We did manage a fairly quiet night just sat playing cards, though that was soured somewhat by following text-only updates of Man City losing 3-2 at home to Crystal Palace. I suppose this is the sort of moment Nick Hornby is referring to in Fever Pitch.
Without time constraints, I could have happily spent another day or two blissfully doing nothing with the good group also staying at Backpacker Village.
But we had our hearts set on spending Christmas in Hoi An, which meant a mammoth 450-mile journey. So we left on the 23rd December, somewhat relaxed and without burying our heads in the sand – though with a sad thought for the poor ostriches.