Today (2nd February) is Time to Talk Day, and in the lyrical words of Kele Okereke: "We need to talk".
The idea is to get everyone talking about mental health and how we feel, to reduce the stigma and start making a positive difference.
Many people feel isolated, ashamed or worthless because of the fear of what other people think - a feeling that resonates with me. The reality is that one in four of those 'other people' have also experienced a mental health problem in the last year alone.
If you break a bone, it's plain to see - you can't hide a cast. But because mental illness doesn't always doesn't always present with physical symptoms, there's often no way of knowing what battle someone is facing. So people won't prioritise it or have the same respect and caution.
The 2012 Health and Social Care Act coined the term 'parity of esteem', which means that mental health should be given equal priority to physical health. Health services and professionals may follow suit and promote the term, but it's useless unless we all join the conversation and start thinking the same.
With men in particular, there's this 'stiff under lip' or the idea that being a man means carrying your burdens effortlessly through life. But just like physical exercise, it takes its toll.
Personally, I became so used to bottling up any problems or feelings that I began to forget how to share some of them at all. Even with a good support network around me, the thought of opening up was terrifying. Bad experiences, sadness or even sometimes anger would be exacerbated by ruminative thinking, brought on by not sharing my feelings enough.
In the past there have been days when I'd struggle to see the point in getting out of bed (although sometimes caused by a hangover). I'd soldier on out of necessity of not breaking rank, rather than just owning up to myself and spilling the beans to someone. Anyone.
As a result it's caused me depression, caused me anxiety and even caused a lack of confidence and insecurity. Eventually it led to making someone very close to me feel like they weren't good enough. Now that's an even worse feeling. Do you see how it becomes a cycle?
Many of you might be surprised because I haven't shared a lot of this before - but today is the day. It's time talk. Solving the problem isn't easy, but cracking the cycle can be; talk, unburden, you're not alone.
I can't say I don't feel depressed, anxious or insecure on some days; but I'm lucky for those around me and that I have opportunities to inspire myself to better things.
Everyone's feelings or reasons for being down may be different, but they all have one thing in common - sharing the problem is step one of feeling better. Something as simple as a brew and a chat is the key. You might personally feel fighting fit, but you can still get talking and shift the taboo; ask someone if they're ok, tell someone you are there for them - it all counts.
I hope by reading this you might gain the courage to talk about your own demons; with your family, with a friend, or even me if you want. I know I haven't divulged many specific details, but I don't really air dirty laundry on the internet - that's for personal conversations.
It's not all doom and gloom though, there is a strong evidence base of 'five ways to wellbeing', which can help to decrease mental health problems and increase personal wellbeing:
• Connect - with people around you, wherever you are, be it friends, family, colleagues or the community. Invest time in building and maintaining relationships as they are a solid foundation;
• Be active - physical exercise makes you feel decent, it gets you fitter and it stops you moping about;
• Take notice - evoke your curiosity, reflect on experiences and become more aware of the present and how you feel. Give mindfulness a bash to help you with it;
• Keep learning - challenge yourself, pick up a new skill or go back to an unfinished project. Knowledge is good for confidence and for bragging down the pub;
• Give - do something nice, donate some time or adventure for charity. It feels rewarding and good karma points are always useful to have knocking about.
Start to embed those five into your daily life and you're on to a good'en. In the musical words of Bonny Gillespie: "Movin' on up now, getting out of the darkness."
The idea is to get everyone talking about mental health and how we feel, to reduce the stigma and start making a positive difference.
Many people feel isolated, ashamed or worthless because of the fear of what other people think - a feeling that resonates with me. The reality is that one in four of those 'other people' have also experienced a mental health problem in the last year alone.
If you break a bone, it's plain to see - you can't hide a cast. But because mental illness doesn't always doesn't always present with physical symptoms, there's often no way of knowing what battle someone is facing. So people won't prioritise it or have the same respect and caution.
The 2012 Health and Social Care Act coined the term 'parity of esteem', which means that mental health should be given equal priority to physical health. Health services and professionals may follow suit and promote the term, but it's useless unless we all join the conversation and start thinking the same.
With men in particular, there's this 'stiff under lip' or the idea that being a man means carrying your burdens effortlessly through life. But just like physical exercise, it takes its toll.
Personally, I became so used to bottling up any problems or feelings that I began to forget how to share some of them at all. Even with a good support network around me, the thought of opening up was terrifying. Bad experiences, sadness or even sometimes anger would be exacerbated by ruminative thinking, brought on by not sharing my feelings enough.
In the past there have been days when I'd struggle to see the point in getting out of bed (although sometimes caused by a hangover). I'd soldier on out of necessity of not breaking rank, rather than just owning up to myself and spilling the beans to someone. Anyone.
As a result it's caused me depression, caused me anxiety and even caused a lack of confidence and insecurity. Eventually it led to making someone very close to me feel like they weren't good enough. Now that's an even worse feeling. Do you see how it becomes a cycle?
Many of you might be surprised because I haven't shared a lot of this before - but today is the day. It's time talk. Solving the problem isn't easy, but cracking the cycle can be; talk, unburden, you're not alone.
I can't say I don't feel depressed, anxious or insecure on some days; but I'm lucky for those around me and that I have opportunities to inspire myself to better things.
Everyone's feelings or reasons for being down may be different, but they all have one thing in common - sharing the problem is step one of feeling better. Something as simple as a brew and a chat is the key. You might personally feel fighting fit, but you can still get talking and shift the taboo; ask someone if they're ok, tell someone you are there for them - it all counts.
I hope by reading this you might gain the courage to talk about your own demons; with your family, with a friend, or even me if you want. I know I haven't divulged many specific details, but I don't really air dirty laundry on the internet - that's for personal conversations.
It's not all doom and gloom though, there is a strong evidence base of 'five ways to wellbeing', which can help to decrease mental health problems and increase personal wellbeing:
• Connect - with people around you, wherever you are, be it friends, family, colleagues or the community. Invest time in building and maintaining relationships as they are a solid foundation;
• Be active - physical exercise makes you feel decent, it gets you fitter and it stops you moping about;
• Take notice - evoke your curiosity, reflect on experiences and become more aware of the present and how you feel. Give mindfulness a bash to help you with it;
• Keep learning - challenge yourself, pick up a new skill or go back to an unfinished project. Knowledge is good for confidence and for bragging down the pub;
• Give - do something nice, donate some time or adventure for charity. It feels rewarding and good karma points are always useful to have knocking about.
Start to embed those five into your daily life and you're on to a good'en. In the musical words of Bonny Gillespie: "Movin' on up now, getting out of the darkness."